A brief rant.

[icewolf]

So. I just saw the Beowulf trailer.

Right then.

I would just like to say that DAMGRENDEL is NOT some WATERY TART! And she CERTAINLY doesn't look like FRELLING LARA CROFT!!!

Seriously, the kindest translation of the term that describes her, aglaecwif, is Seamus Heaney's, "monstrous hell bride."

RassingfrassingdirectorsthinkingwiththeirgonadsthrowingfidelitytothetexttothewindjusttogetawetnakedAngelinaJolieonscreen...

Incidentally, I got a dress last Friday at David's. I went with Dress #4.

Anyway, I mean, yes, the initial battle between Beowulf and Damgrendel is in the water, but the trailer looks like some stupid Arthurian knock off! Gah!

What's worse is that now I shall have to see this movie so that I can intelligently rant about it.

Edit: Yes, I know there's argument about the term, and that many have argued that Damgrendel is a noble warrior lady. Still bears the mark of Cain. Still mother to a monster. Still not cool and probably not very sexy! Humph.

Comments

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that was my first thought, too.

I still want to do my silent version, with dual audio tracks, one in English (narrated by Samuel L. Jackson) and one in the original (narrated by Joss Ackland. Come on, you know he can do it. Hell, he probably already has.)

If Quentin Tarantino asks nicely, he can do one, too.

[noncalorsedumor.livejournal.com]

Heh, "monstrous hell bride."

It's been a while since I read Beowulf, but my impression was that she looked absolutely nothing like Angelina Jolie. As you note, she's the mother of a monster; can it really be all the baby-daddy's fault? ;-)

That reminds me, does Beowulf say anything about who Grendel's father was?

[icewolf010.livejournal.com]

It never comes out and says specifically says who Grendel's father is, but the reigning theory out there is that Damgrendel and Cain produced Grendel, possibly incestuously.

You know, unless you see the movie. Gah.

Dress

[strawberrykaren.livejournal.com]

Cool! I like #4; it looks very elegant. :)

[severus-bracae.livejournal.com]

I dunno when I think of "monstrous hell bride." Angelina Jolie does come to mind.

[torberg.livejournal.com]

And her plan for Beowulf? Death by snu-snu!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Wait.

Read this.

http://www.chud.com/index.php?type=interviews&id=11232

Now. Thoughts?

[icewolf010.livejournal.com]

My thought is that they did not make a movie of the epic poem Beowulf. They made something else of their own devising.

Specifically...

First of all, I've read Beowulf as both an undergraduate and in the original Anglo Saxon in graduate school. Multiple times. I dareGaiman and Avery to look me in the eye and tell me I don't know this poem.

The poem is written in third person. Limited third person through the lens of Beowulf, true, but Beowulf at no time is the "narrator" of the poem.

A bird foot? That's the mark of Cain? A bird foot? And it has absolutely nothing to do with elongating Jolie's leg as though it was in high heels. Shucks, no.

The only text we have may have been Christianized by monks, but it's the only text we have. So deal.

Basically, they're throwing a lot of modern, anachronistic attitudes onto an ancient and alien mindset. This makes me crazed the way classmates who wondered why Jane Austen didn't just take the money from her best selling books and run off to Barbados. They've remade it for a modern audience. At the cost of just a little fiddling with the text and turning a world of black and white (which was how the Vikings saw the world even before Christianity) into a mottled sea of grays. Wonderful.

Kinda Funny

[the-mithril-man.livejournal.com]

As far as I've learned this past year the kindest translation of the term that describes her is "Extra Crispy". Ah what a camping trip that was so many memories. When the time comes give me a call I'd like to see this myself. I don't have the depth of reading it you do (once or twice cause I had to) but still should be fun. I watched the trailer and I got the feeling the animators said "Welp we paid for Jolie so we might as well use her."

[five-hole.livejournal.com]

Well, we all know the general public won't see a movie unless it's got at least one hot naked chick in it *sigh* must have obligatory nekkidness and sex.

Been about 3 years since I last read Beowulf, but I'd agree... she should not be easy on the eyes.


#4 looks like a nice choice for you. :)